You’ve either had it, caused it, or spent too many waking hours trying to kid yourself into thinking it doesn’t exist for you. Thing is, upon what are we really placing the fear?
So much of my life was spent in the pursuit of anything and everything possible to keep my mind distracted. As someone with diagnosed ADD, free time is like a white rabbit who beckons me down a hole. Unfortunately, all too often the only way out is filling the hole with destructive behavior. One may think, “well that’s dumb, just channel your energy” and one would be correct, but for ADD sufferers it isn’t that easy.
When you add a healthy dose of GAD to ADD, then you have two things; someone who needs to keep busy but is anxious about seemingly innocuous tasks such as getting their mail, and……..GADADD. Say it outloud, like you’re Australian. “GADADD, mate!” Serious about the mail thing though. If I’m having a bad day, I’ll fetch my mail the following morning at like 4:12 AM to avoid running into anyone. But wait, there’s more!
Patiently waiting to join us on my merry-go-round of diagnoses, please welcome BED. BED, or Binge Eating Disorder, was patiently waiting its turn because BED is one of those destructive behaviors upon whos shoulders I would stand to get out of the goddamn rabbit hole that I wouldn’t have gone done if I my rattled brain could cool its shit and my anxiety would shut the hell up so I could just watch TV. Ahhhhh. Also, GADADDBED!
So this was my life-cycle for a very long time. My FOMO wasn’t based solely on people or events, because missing out had true implications for my well-being. Funny thing about fear though, what we’re often frightened of is the boogey-man when all the while something far more insidious lies in wait. More on that later.
